How did we get here? I used to know you so well. How did we get here? Well, I think I know.

Well, we "sold" the house. Finally. If all goes as planned and the sky doesn't fall like Chicken Little says it will, then we should be helping my mom move on November 13th. Everything should be done by the 26th or seriously, I'm going to be pissed at my father. We don't need to stay in Alamogordo just because my mom is there. We're taking her with us. I'm pretty sure he doesn't miss the quiet life. It's peaceful but eerie. You'd think that New Mexico would be a shitty place to live, but the scenery is good. At least near the city. It rains. It snows. I enjoyed the weather. So it wasn't much like living in a desert at all and compared to the city we live in now, there were a lot more things to do. However, we live in California and there a bazillion things to do, if you have money to spend and to use on your gas guzzler. We don't. With this house sold though, we'll finally have income. I mean, things we can buy. We haven't bought anything for ourselves in a long time. I mean, I took money I got from my grandmother that was supposed to go towards a car (which she sold my parents short when she said she'd give me double the amount and it's kinda funny because the other kids are receiving all kinds of money from her. Like three times as much.) and spent it on a webcam and the gas it cost to get us to the store since my dad didn't have any money. Now, originally I had $574 and that is seriously not enough to get a car that won't be shit on you so that you wind up spending way more than you paid for just to fill it up. But my parents if everything goes through should be getting me a car and that should open a few good things for me. The last thing me and my therapist were discussing I remember was that I was poor and that the absence of a car really hindered and made my life complicated. I couldn't afford to go to even community college. Much less buy a bag of chips at a store without using my savings. And I tried getting a job, which didn't work out. I actually had to end the therapy sessions and the more testing she wanted because we couldn't afford to have it done. Even if insurance covered the treatment, we couldn't even make the car trip. My dad needed the gas to get to work. Sad, huh? See the original plan was that I was supposed to get into college because school was all I had, really. I don't have any friends. I don't have work. I don't have things I go out and do, clubs or organizations I've joined, festivals to attend, blah blah. This place doesn't offer much. It's just - here's your own existence, do what you will with it.

Anyway, onto the wife. Things have been pretty shaky, but it's not really any cause for an alarm. Things have a way of going back to being okay. The biggest problem that presents itself and that is eating us both up is that we're not together. It's causing a lot of frustration and that's all I'm going to say. It's very depressing, but I'm not depressed right now. Just a little down but overall okay, just tired and feel like I'm coasting along. I've been thinking a lot. Meh.